i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
