Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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