His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
