No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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