Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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