did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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