I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I cut my penus on the lid.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm at about main and main street
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize