My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
