omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
