she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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