The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
