This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
