barbara walters just said penis...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
