Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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