no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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