The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
