3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
