just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
