I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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