I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
