1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
