He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
