Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
