Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
