if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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