guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My ass is underappreciated
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
