Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
