Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize