And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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