And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
