he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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