Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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