I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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