May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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