yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
