dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
