On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
