dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
