I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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