we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
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We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
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"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe