I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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