went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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