Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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