i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
