I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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