I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
