McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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