I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize