i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
