You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
