My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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