If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
