Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
