So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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