the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
