Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
