Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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