Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
